I Hate Divorce! Did God Really Say...?

(I reserve the right to sway from my Galatians series at any time)

Is divorce permissible at all? Some say under two circumstances it is. I disagree. After a discussion at church I have been asked to place my position on my blog. So here it is.

The idea of divorce begins, of course in the Old Testament. Deu 22:19 is the first time we see the English word divorce in the Old Testament. Here God sets the tone for disliking divorce. He says the man, even in strong disagreeing circumstances, cannot divorce the wife all his days. Then there is the popular Jer 3:8 where God says He has given Israel a writ of divorce. Even more He says it is because of her many adulteries. What is often over looked though is that in that same chapter God is calling for Israel to return to Him and we know that eventually Israel does return. Divorce is not used with the sense of permanence as we use it today. God is a covenant-keeping God. Of course this paper would not be complete without mentioning the ever so famous Malachi 2:16, “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel.” No where in Scripture do we see God saying that He has changed His mind about this.
In the New Testament we find seemingly clear instructions on divorce. The pharisees, in Mat 19:3, have done us the favor of asking Jesus, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?" Jesus answers by repeating Scripture and telling of creation and the beginning of marriage. The couple becomes one flesh and “what God has joined together, let man not separate." This response does not seem to make room for divorce for any reason. After all, how is it possible to saw a person (ONE FLESH) in half and them live? But why did Moses command the man to give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away? Jesus, once again, supplies us with this answer as well, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." I think there are a few important points here. First, the text says Moses permitted, not God permitted. Moses is not God. Our sovereign Lord does not necessarily approve of everything he allows to take place. Second, read my point below about the betrothal. Third, Jesus said it was not that way from the beginning. This is not how God intended it. Marriage was not designed with divorce. It was created to demonstrate Christ and the Church. Remember when Christ talked about divorcing the Church. Oh yeah, He didn’t! Marriage was created perfectly as was the earth. Like the earth, marriage has been negatively affected by the fall. At the outset it appears these two passages contradict one another. First Jesus says marriage is a done deal and then he says it’s O.K. to end the marriage for certain reasons. I will show later how this is not a contradiction.
This takes us to the scapegoat of choice. The idea that divorce is justified by adultery has taken over. Here is an easy way out of working on your marriage, one of you have an affair! That is not even what Jesus said in Matthew! Let’s look closely at the two passages used, Mat 5:32
and Mat 19:9. It is important to look at the vocabulary used. The two words used as exceptions are unchastity and immorality. They are the same word in the Greek, porneia. The word actually means fornication which is different from adultery. This will become important when we look at the culture of the context. The text says if divorce happens for this reason, fornication, it will cause the individuals to commit adultery, moicheuw in the Greek. First I will explain the difference between the two words and then we will examine who is being spoken to in these passages. Fornication is sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married. Adultery is sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who is not his wife or a woman and a man who is not her husband. Please read the previous two sentences once more, slowly. Some say the word porneia is broad and includes adultery. If this is the case, why is the specific word for adultery used six words later?
It is very significant that both of these passages, the only ones in the NT giving this exception, occur in Matthew. It is well known that Matthew was written to a Jewish audience. In that culture the married couple went through a betrothal period of their relationship. Although they were referred to as husband and wife during this time, the marriage had not yet been consummated. It is at consummation that two become one flesh. The vocabulary of the passage suggests it was this betrothal period of the marriage Jesus was speaking of. Although there are vast cultural differences, one might compare this to our engagement. An example from scripture would be that of Joseph and Mary. The same Greek word used for divorce in these passages is the same one used in Mat. 1:19. Here it is very clear that Mary and Joseph were simply betrothed and yet he was going to “divorce” her when he found her to be with child. Though he did not, this would have been the acceptable time to do so for they were not yet “married.” And now my point about the certificate from Moses above. The Deuteronomy passage does not necessarily speak of something other than the betrothal period of marriage. The passage about the certificate of divorce is found in Deut. 24:1-4. But look with me at Deut. 22:23-24. Here we see the virgin girl who is engaged is referred to as "the neighbor's wife." Can you say betrothal? Deut. 24 seems to be speaking of the first period of the marriage relationship, does it not?
In light of this discussion, it is clear that Jesus was, in fact, not contradicting Himself in the passages mentioned earlier.
But what about 1 Corinthians 7? What about it? Show me in that passage where it says believers may get divorced. Paul reaffirms in verses 10 &11 that the wife should not leave the husband and the husband should not send his wife away. It says in verse 15 of the same chapter, “if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave.” I do not see Paul giving permission for a believer to pursue a divorce.
Finally, some food for thought:

1. Of all the sin mentioned in the Bible, divorce, which God says he hates, is the one sin we may commit under two circumstances? WOW! That’s rich!

2. Is adultery now the unpardonable sin? Oh Robert, of course we should forgive it but it does give us an excuse to commit another sin, divorce. Oh really. Is that what the LORD teaches us with Israel? Remember Hosea?